Author Archives: Comedian Andy Hartley

New website screen shot!

www.andyhartleycomedy.com is the NEW homepage for Comedian Andy Hartley!

http://www.andyhartleycomedy.com is the NEW homepage for Comedian Andy Hartley!

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NEW WEBSITE PREVIEW!

I AM FOCUSING ON COMEDY MORE THAN ACTING WHICH MEANS I NOW CONSIDER MYSELF MORE OF A COMEDIAN. I apologize for all of the caps. I wasn’t really yelling. Okay, check out my new website & new podcast! Things are starting to get good. I love you. 😀 

Great Night of Stand-up Comedy!

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Last night, I performed at Flapper’s Comedy Club in Burbank, CA with headliner Grant Lyon (as seen on Bob & Tom Show) and many other hilarious comedians! The room was packed and everyone seemed to be having a blast.

I will be starting a mailing list, too. I want to stay connected to my newly found “fans” and friends. I want to be able to send out discounted tickets and other free things. Stay tuned if you’re interested!

Thank you for reading and thank you for your continuous support. Now, go fist bump fifty people or you will have bad luck for the next nine days.

A Dream I had

Right now, I’m watching a documentary about dreams on Netflix. Scientists seem to be getting much closer to figuring out what they mean to people and if they’re important. I’m not going to get into details but this documentary reminded me of one dream that I had awhile ago.

When I wrote my play titled, “Train Wreck,” which made local and national news, I had a bad dream the night before the first performance. In my dream, every single script had burned up in fires and we had no way to make sure that we were saying the right lines or if we were even doing the play as it had been written. Talk about high anxiety! Anyway, thought I’d share that with you. Thanks for reading!

Today, After My Workout…

Today, I learned how to workout; just by watching a guy at the gym. Here’s what you do:

  1. Sit on the bench for a few minutes.
  2. Flail your arms around for about an hour.
  3. Leave.

While stretching and listening to my headphones, the other guy said something to me but I didn’t hear him. So I took out one of my headphones and said, “I’m sorry…?” After sighing, because I inconvenienced him by being there to exercise and not socialize, he said, “I’ll be back.” He pointed at the pull-down bar, to either let me know that that is HIS pull-down bar and I can’t use it or he’s coming back to use it, just in case I was interested in his routine. He returned and I had just finished stretching.

I said to him, “I’m not coming back, so feel free to use whatever you want.”

I left… and as I was walking away from the gym, an Indian girl approached me (A girl from India, not the kind from the reservations. The latter part was a sarcastic reference to our history) and asked for my name.

I told her “Andy.” I asked for hers.

She said, “Naomi,” with a heavy accent.

I asked, “Mandy?”

She said, “No, Naomi.”

I said, “Oh! I misheard you. I said, I like your hello Kitty shirt.”

This girl must have been around three years old or so. Awkwardly but trying to be silly, I told her that I have the same shirt but I’m just kidding and that’d be weird if I did. Her expecting mother was standing nearby on the phone, giving the person on the other end of the phone a play-by-play of the conversation. The little girl asked if I am Justin Beiber. Her mom laughed, I said, “unfortunately for the both of us, I am not Justin Beiber but I wish I was.”

Her mother laughed, again, then another girl came from nowhere, who was also wearing a “Hello Kitty” shirt, who I assumed she was her sister without asking, approached me and said that their dad has the same shirt as I do. I replied with Oh! You two have matching shirts and me and your dad have matching shirts!

Then, they proceeded to give me a high five and I said that usually I’m the one who has to initiate the high-fives! After that, we parted ways. I don’t have any kids but my body must be putting out underlying odors that make me smell “dad-like” because kids seem to approach me. I don’t know if that’s scientifically sound or just another awkward question but at least when I’m done talking to them, I can just leave because they’re not mine.

Thanks for reading.

@andyhartweet @DalesMovie

Odd morning in downtown L.A.

While at a Starbucks in downtown Los Angeles…

 The other day, I was playing on my iPad and out of the corner of my eye, I notice a guy who sits down next to me. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a giant bottle of Miller Hi-Life. He says, “My doctor told me plenty of fluids… I said yes ma’am.” There’s only one other guy near us, who is clearly busy on his computer, so, I look to see who he’s talking to. I decide to let out a slight laugh. Now, he thinks I’m interested in everything he has to say, from here on out. He takes a chug of it, looks at me, and says, “why does this make me feel like a low life if it says hi-life?”

Then, he asks me for the time. I tell him its 9 a.m., and he says, “Wow, I’m early for once.” I sorta feel bad for the guy, so, to keep the conversation alive, I say, “I know how that feels.” Just a few moments later, another guy walks in and my new friend yells, “Hey! What is up!?” He gives him a high five and looks at me and says, “That’s my lawyer.” He adds, “He wants me to sub contract as a gangster.” Before I can comprehend what just happened, he looks at me and says, “Excuse me,” and then leaves.

A moment later, a thin, black, flamboyant young man (I’m just painting the picture for you), who appears to be in his early twenties and a white woman, who appears to be in her fifties, sit down next to me on my other side. At first, I assumed that she was his therapist or something, because she asks him, “So, is your addiction more physical or more psychological?”

Their conversation starts out with him describing his past addiction to her, then eventually turns into him explaining to her about how espresso coffee is made. “First they grind it… Etc.” Shortly after he teaches her the history of espresso, he updates her anti-virus on her laptop and then goes onto explain the entire process of the anti-virus to her.

I finish my coffee and leave. I plan to go back to see if this a typical morning at Starbucks in downtown L.A.

AH

I’m working on my first feature film…

My first feature length film!

I’m working on my first feature length film. It’s a goofy comedy, titled, “Dale’s Movie.” Dale is a loud-mouthed character with little to no self-awareness. You know, one of “those types of people” who crinkle their M&Ms bag for every single M&M during a movie? Yeah. Anyway, the script is basically finished. Now, I’m working on the storyboard.

Below are two facebook images I created to promote the film. I had to change the name of the film from “Dale” to “Dale’s Movie” because the title, “Dale” has already been used.

(c) 2013 Andy Hartley

(c) 2013 Andy Hartley

(c) 2013 Andy Hartley

(c) 2013 Andy Hartley

 

If you have any advice or are interested in my project, please let me know! I’d love to hear from other indie filmmakers to hear your stories!

Stay in touch!

I wrote a feature length film…

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“The Dale Movie”

The time has come for “Dale’s Movie” to be written; which will be my first feature length film! Yay! The image above this is the first ad that I made for facebook to start getting the word out. Dale was one of the first characters I got cast as at Huff Theatre in Ankeny, IA. This character represents a loud-mouthed person with no sense of self-awareness. You know, the type that crinkles the candy bags in the middle of the theatre, instead of dumping the candy into their laps and that sort of thing. This type of character is often portrayed throughout the many theatre productions of W. Johnson. We’ll talk about Huff Theatre in future posts. Anyhow, as for Dale, I took the character to other levels. Some include performing at stand-up comedy shows, videos on youtube, and now, the Granddaddy of them all… in a feature length film!

Next post will be about the plot of the film and other important information, of course. 😀

Check back often. Stay updated on the progress of the film. Be involved.

Listen to “A Double S” here!

If you want to hear Andy Andrew’s new song, “A Double S”, you  can do so here!

 

Andy Andrew “A Double S” is for you!

Hope you’re having a great day! You can download this song on mp3 now!