Odd morning in downtown L.A.
While at a Starbucks in downtown Los Angeles…
The other day, I was playing on my iPad and out of the corner of my eye, I notice a guy who sits down next to me. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a giant bottle of Miller Hi-Life. He says, “My doctor told me plenty of fluids… I said yes ma’am.” There’s only one other guy near us, who is clearly busy on his computer, so, I look to see who he’s talking to. I decide to let out a slight laugh. Now, he thinks I’m interested in everything he has to say, from here on out. He takes a chug of it, looks at me, and says, “why does this make me feel like a low life if it says hi-life?”
Then, he asks me for the time. I tell him its 9 a.m., and he says, “Wow, I’m early for once.” I sorta feel bad for the guy, so, to keep the conversation alive, I say, “I know how that feels.” Just a few moments later, another guy walks in and my new friend yells, “Hey! What is up!?” He gives him a high five and looks at me and says, “That’s my lawyer.” He adds, “He wants me to sub contract as a gangster.” Before I can comprehend what just happened, he looks at me and says, “Excuse me,” and then leaves.
A moment later, a thin, black, flamboyant young man (I’m just painting the picture for you), who appears to be in his early twenties and a white woman, who appears to be in her fifties, sit down next to me on my other side. At first, I assumed that she was his therapist or something, because she asks him, “So, is your addiction more physical or more psychological?”
Their conversation starts out with him describing his past addiction to her, then eventually turns into him explaining to her about how espresso coffee is made. “First they grind it… Etc.” Shortly after he teaches her the history of espresso, he updates her anti-virus on her laptop and then goes onto explain the entire process of the anti-virus to her.
I finish my coffee and leave. I plan to go back to see if this a typical morning at Starbucks in downtown L.A.
Posted on April 24, 2013, in Comedy, Personal and tagged alcoholic, bum, comedy, day, downtown, downtown LA, drunk, funny, homeless, lol, los angeles, morning, saturday, Starbucks, weird. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.